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Mr Brown, Mr Blair and Mr Balls went out to play

February 25, 2010

Michael Savage’s piece in the Independent today, quoting from The End of the Party by Andrew Rawnsley confirms my long-held belief that we have toddlers running the nation.

And that’s scary.

If Mr Blair – as quoted by Mr Savage (no jokes about fitting names for journalists please) – who was quoting Mr Rawnsley (nothing remarkable about this name) but with my auditory processing disorder (that’s the disorder of the day) I have forgotten by this point in the sentence what I had set out to say at the beginning of it, but it is satisfyingly long, starts badly and goes nowhere, so it’s exactly right for a political piece, I think.

Let’s try again. Journalese, this time. Mr Blair says Mr Brown shouted at him, rather meanly, that Mr Blair had ruined Mr Brown’s life. That’s according to Michael Savage, who is reporting this according to Mr Rawnsley’s book. Are you following that?

I can’t. I’m way too blonde. That’s why I stick to interesting subjects like Liz Hurley’s left boob. I’m trying to join the world, however, and must overcome my prejudice towards political correspondence.

It all seems rather childish, that’s all. And that really scares me. If childish people are running the country, what hope is there for its citizens?

So anyway, paring this story down to its simplest and most convenient interpretation, which is what the press seem to do, Mr Blair appears to have ruined Mr Brown’s life, and according to Mr Savage – who’s quoting Mr Rawnsley – Mr Balls pushed Mr Brown. My goodness!

Going out on a limb, I will add my own word (for the sake of what we writers call ‘colour’) and say that Mr Balls probably pushed Mr Brown hard.

Well I never! What rum goings-on! I think we should tell Nanny!

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