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They’re on the Seafood Diet. They see food and eat it.

March 22, 2010

In the Daily Express today we are told that seaweed can halt obesity.

Yay!I’ve been waiting for this all my life. Do tell…

Oh.

The solution, apparently, is to carry on eating all the disgusting junk food that’s really bad for us, because it will henceforward be enhanced with an all-singing all-dancing extract of seaweed called Alginate.

I quote The Express. ‘Previous research by scientists at Newcastle University found alginate could be used to increase the fibre content of pies, burgers, cakes and other high fat foods. They claim this will allow people to keep eating junk food while enjoying the benefits of healthier alternatives.’

Dr Iain Brownlee says:  ‘Our initial findings are that alginates significantly reduce fat digestion.This suggests that if we can add the natural fibre to products commonly eaten daily…up to three-quarters of the fat contained in that meal could simply pass through the body.’

Hmmm… Verree interresting….

Wait though! Cue scary music! Remember that episode of Dr Who called ‘Partners in Crime’?

I quote Wikipedia. ‘The episode concerns Adipose Industries, which is marketing a diet pill to London’s population with the slogan “the fat just walks away”…the slogan is literal—the pills use latent body fat to parthenogenetically create the Adipose, small white aliens which spawn every night, removing a little of the host’s body fat each time.’

Was that bizarrely prophetic? ‘I mean, if we eat alginates will we spawn little blobby aliens that take over the planet? Aaaaaaaaargh!

Let’s leave it to Dr Brownlee’s team at Newcastle University to research the theory, whilst we keep our eyes peeled for news of rum goings-on up North.

In the meantime, while we wait for the miracle cure, we could try the so-called New Atkins Diet, which looks suspiciously like a very sensible low-carb calorie controlled diet.

Nothing new there I’m afraid. A diet is a diet is a diet. And Paul McKenna has already educated us about that, drawing on the material of Bob Schwartz‘s excellent book Diets Don’t Work.

Conclusion: diets don’t work.

Not in the long term, anyway.

The New Atkins Diet, described in detail in today’s Daily Mail, is similar to my own diet, or should I say ‘Food Plan’, because mine is for life.

There are two crucial differences however.

1. mine is much simpler and therefore easier to follow.

2. mine suggests eating masses of vegetables, which is healthier, especially if you want to avoid cancer.

Similarly, the seaweed solution – and I say bring it on, we’ll get Doctor Who to deal with the aliens – the seaweed solution doesn’t take into account the unhealthiness of facilitating more junk food eating, because – hello – it’s not just the fat in junk food that’s bad for us.

I lost seven stone on my diet and have kept the weight off for years.

I really  must write that e-bo0k about eating. Watch this space. It’s coming.

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