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Sam Cam’s Baby lies a-gurglin’ in the womb

March 23, 2010

I find it very heartening to see that the main story in today’s papers focuses on Samantha Cameron’s upcoming baby. Or should I say down-coming. Sorry. Very bad joke. Let’s settle for forthcoming.

But how it’s coming is not the point. What’s great is that the press know we want to hear more about ordinary human beings doing what comes naturally than we do about that other stuff: bombs, wars, health-scares and gloomy financial predictions.

Why don’t the forces of detection and protection just get on with it and let us all live happily ever after in Trumpton, the idyllic animation village of my childhood. Ah, Trumpton. Sigh. And Camberwick Green.

Yes, I have a bad case of Surrey Housewife Syndrome this morning.It must be because Sam Cam is doing her bit for the nuclear family, and that includes wives. (See Vanessa Engle’s excellent documentary series Women for help with this condition).

Do you know that there used to be an organisation in Epsom called The Epsom Wives? How scary is that?

I just googled Epsom Wives to see if it was still going, and was offered ‘Epsom and Ewell Wives: thousands of women waiting for you in the South of England’. And there was I, thinking it was just me…

I was also offered Lonely Horny Wives and – if that doesn’t work – a Single Baltic Lady.

There is much entertainment to be found surfing the net. Clearly. For instance, the sort of wives of which I speak were apparently around in 1673, according to a free encylopedia of literature which says: ‘Shadwell’s comedy ‘Epsom Wells’ (1673) mentions the ‘impertinent, ill-bred City wives’, who flocked to the well on the Downs’.

Yes, I was one of those…

I think I will write an e-book on the subject of housewifery. It’s the least I can do.

And now… with fantastic sleight of pen… I will pull the strands of this wandering blog together in one – rather long – sentence.

I’m glad that Sam Cam’s having a baby and that the press have guessed, rightly, that this is the sort of news we want to hear, though I’ve only just twigged that her nickname is a diminutive of Cameron, rather than an indication that – like the Single Baltic Lady – she might have been up to no good with a camcorder.

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