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The trouble with science….

October 2, 2010

Goodness! Where have I been? I haven’t blogged in the whole of September. All of my fan will have disappeared (and I use the singular article advisedly).

To be honest, I had to look that up. I tried ‘Single Tense’. Got nowhere. Not surprising. There’s no such thing.

So I tried ‘What’s the opposite of Single?’ I got a dating site for that one.

Then I remembered ‘Plural’. That did it. I saw that it was an article but got distracted by wanting to know what an indefinite article was. Is that like a hermaphrodite? Is a hermaphrodite an indefinite article?

Oh dear. What’s the point of a bloody education when it goes in one ear and out the other. Thank God for Wikipaedia, that’s what I say.

And I’ve forgotten what I wanted to blog about now. Aaargh. it’s hellish, getting old.

Roll up, roll up, get your grammar lessons here.

Talking of lessons, I have discovered what science is and I’m willing to share it with the world.

Science is… wait for it… drum roll…

Science is…. EXPLAINED MAGIC.

And magic is…. UNEXPLAINED SCIENCE.

That is so cool. I congratulate myself. I am having a constant argument with my son about this. He says I am very sad and need to be committed.

But just tell me one thing. How can it be that huge heavy metal objects fly through the sky? Thass magic tharriz.

Just because you can sit me down quietly, with some medication and a strait-jacket – just to be on the safe side – and explain the rules of aerodynamics (yes, you’re right, I had to look it up) doesn’t mean that you will ever, ever convince me that aeroplanes flying through the sky isn’t magic.

Just like the telephone. Magic.

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